


Love, lead me on

by thechibibakaduo



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, Fluff, M/M, Masturbation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-19 10:07:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7356940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thechibibakaduo/pseuds/thechibibakaduo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is always unexpected. Love is both the happiest and the most painful. Love is what makes us keep going.<br/>(I suck at summaries, please forgive me)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Our everyday life

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own these guys and I have no profit from this other than making people happy (hopefully)
> 
> This is the first chapter, please enjoy. More chapters are going to come.
> 
> PS: English is not our native language and this work is un-betaed so we apologize for grammatical errors.

Photo shoots and interviews have always been exhausting but at least they've never been boring. Until now. Hey! Say! JUMP was having an interview that afternoon and Yamada was seriously fed up with the whole thing. He has been working for 10 consecutive days and clearly it had its effects on him and his mental state.

'Look at that... I wonder since when Yabu-chan and Chii are this chummy?' Yamada thought as he saw Chinen basically sitting on Yabu. 'Poor Yabu-chan doesn't know his fate yet... If Chinen wants something...' Yamada shuddered as the flashback came to haunt him of the incident when he'd stood in Chinen's way when the latter had wanted to have the last cookie. (But we don't talk about that painful night.)

He didn't really add anything constructive to the conversation and honestly, he wasn't even interested in what was going on in the slightest bit. However, when the topic changed from BEST to 7 something caught his attention.

'... I don't usually go out with 7 members though' Yuto said with a smile that was a bit off in Yamada's opinion.  
'Yes, because Yuti needs time to adjust his life while we are usually free' Chinen added while laughing.

Everybody laughed and nodded and the interview moved on from that topic but Yamada's thoughts remained on the problem. Now that this issue arose Yamada thought about the last time he spent alone with his best friend aside from work. It was truly a while ago so the blond guy decided to ask Yuto after work if he was free on Saturday since that was Yamada's nearest off-day.

Despite the rivalry between Yuto and Yamada they had always been on good terms with each other. One of Yamada's favourite memory was when he and Yuto had gone shopping when they'd been 21 and they'd spent the day laughing, being dorks and Yuto taking loads of photos of Yamada. That day had been simple but the happiest. Thinking about it made Yamada smile which earned him some funny looks from the members.

When the damned interview ended (which was absoulety pointless and ridiculous if you asked Yamada) he headed to the dressing room to ask Yuto about hanging out the next day.

'Hello, Yama-chan!' Yuto welcomed him with his trademark grin plastered over his face while he was checking if everything was in its place in his bag. 'Were you just as bored with the interview as it was showing on your face?' he asked accompanied by a small laugh.  
'Well... I was, to be honest' Yamada answered accordingly and started to search for his mobile and keys in his bag.'Ne Yuti... Are you free on Saturday?' he asked with a soft smile.  
'I guess I'm not...' Yuto answered with a bit devilish grin but that escaped Yamada's attention and the older one cut him off saying 'Oh, nevermind then...'  
'Well, let me explain Yama-chan' the taller boy laughed. 'I am free but since you asked I guess I'll have plans... with you, right?' Yuto finished a bit awkwardly.  
'Then answer properly, baka!' Yamada scolded the younger with a half-annoyed half-laughing expression.

'What's with this sudden question though?' Yuto asked.  
'Ano... I wasn't actually nodding off during the interview...'  
'Yeah yeah, I bet you weren't...'  
'So as I was saying...' Yamada continued while Yuto was laughing his arse off at the look on the older one's not-so-amused face. 'I heard your comment on 7 gatherings and I thought that our last...'  
'Yama-chan can actually think? Get the staff back, it's going to be on TV tonight!' Hikaru butted in the conversation.

Everybody who heard that comment started to laugh hysterically. Well, getting on Yamada's nerves has always been one of JUMP's favourite hobbies and sacred goals.

'It's not been scientifically proven yet so I'm still sceptic' Inoo added with a shit-eating grin.  
'Geez, they don't even let the man finish his sentence' Yamada muttered slightly embarrassed but overall fake-irritated mixed with low-key amused. 'If you are done with the hyena imitation I'd like to go on with the conversation between Yuti and I, I mean us, I mean it's not your business' Yamada added with an angelic smile and a threathening tone. The others just grinned at the attempt to scare them off and went on with packing. Chinen and Keito were the first to leave. Yamada decided to focus on his bag once more and both him and Yuto finished packing in silence.

'Hey blondie! You two wanna come to eat ramen with us?' Hikaru asked from Yamada and Yuto with a toothy grin as he stood between Yabu and Inoo.  
'Hey, why don't you ask us too?!' both Takaki and Daiki exclaimed suddenly breaking off their own conversation.  
'Bacause we don't want to repeat the 'ramen incident' that's why' Yabu said looking at them disapprovingly. Takaki and Daiki left the dressing room while pouting and Yamada heard Daiki muttering 'It was totally Hikaru's fault though...'

'What ramen incident?' Yuto asked curiously. Yamada threw him a 'do you really wanna know?' look.  
'No, it's confidential. BEST secret' Inoo said with a really bad mysterious-ish tone.  
'What a pity' Yamada said voice dripping with sarcasm. 'By the way, I'm not hungry but thanks for asking' he added with a soft smile.  
'I decline it too. Have fun guys!' Yuto said.

'So Yuti... Where was I?' he turned back to Yuto while they were walking to the parking lot.  
'I think you were talking about using brain cells' Yuto couldn't help but irritate Yamada further since it has always been so much fun.  
'Hahaha... Everybody is just jealous because I'm a genius' It was one of the rare moments when Yamada was in a good enough mood to appreciate jokes like this.

'When do you want to meet though?' he asked after they were over with laughing.  
'Not that early, please' Yuto exlaimed. 'I'm a walking corpse already so let me sleep at least until 10'  
'That's a deal then' Yamada said and they soon parted ways.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

'Hikaru's expression was simply hilarious when the photographer asked him to kiss you on the cheek' Inoo addressed Yabu with an amused smile.  
'When they asked us to do that pose I seriously thought about smacking someone' Hikaru said after he swallowed his food. He wasn't joking. He was fed up with this whole YabuHika nonsense and he knew tha Yabu shared his feelings.  
'Yeah, like... how much gayer things can get? It's really disturbing when they ask us to do these poses and also fanservice' Yabu added laughing. 'Not that I have any problems with gay people but I'm straight and I can't really imagine myself attracted to another guy... It's kinda gross, isn't it?' Yabu chuckled a bit awkwardly.

'You are no fun at all, Yabu' Inoo joined in laughing. 'Not even a slightly bit interested in it? Boriiiiing...!' he said jokingly.  
'Well, I would make an exception with Inoo-chan of course' Yabu said seriously. The smile on Inoo's face disappeared in an istant. Hikaru started to laugh and Yabu joined in too.  
'Yabu! So you can joke around if you want! I was half-convinced that you left your sense of humour back in 2010' Hikaru said while swiping off the tears that escaped his eyes while he was laughing.  
'Oi, I can be funny sometimes if I want to, you know!' Yabu faked resentfulness then started laughing once again.

Inoo started laughing awkwardly too but Hikaru could have sworn that he saw something else in Inoo's eyes for a moment. He didn't know why but that expression made his heart skip a beat and he couldn't quite catch if it was a pleasant feeling or not. So he decided to joke around just to avoid thinking about it.

'But look Yabu, you could mistake Inoo-chan as a girl, ne?' he grinned at Inoo. But Inoo was not grinning back. As Hikaru looked into his eyes he saw a mixture of anger, pain and most of all sorrow. The only thing he knew was that he had never seen something so beautiful in his entire life. But he felt awful for causing these emotions and it worsened when Inoo stood up quickly and dashed off from the ramen shop without a word.

'What was that about?' Yabu asked obliviously since he didn't see Inoo's expression.  
'Ano... You know how random Inoo-chan is' Hikaru forced a chuckle while something unpleasant squeezed his heart.  
'Yeah...'

Hikaru and Yabu continued talking for a little while and soon left the ramen shop and went home. Hikaru's mind was occupied by thoughts about Inoo and the moment when his heart skipped a beat. It was if he had seen Inoo for the first time in his life. He also couldn't forget the mushroom haired guy's hurt expression and how awful and useless he himself felt at that moment. He wasn't really an expert on emotions but he had the suspicion that he was feeling awful because Inoo was hurt. But that didn't answer the mistery of suddenly finding Inoo appealing. And it caused him more confusion.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Inoo wasn't sure where and when it happened but he fell in love with Yabu. Had it been when they first met or had it been the work of long years spent together? He didn't know but the thing he knew was that it'd caused his heart so much grief. He had been over with the love-sick puppy phase years ago and the love he'd felt dimmed into a pleasant feeling over the years with the only exception of scenes like what happened in the ramen shop. When Yabu had seriously said that he would date Inoo, the boy felt a sparkle of hope even if he had known deep down that it was impossible.

When he was younger he cursed himself for being a boy since Yabu liked girls. He had always hated when people called him girly or praised him for his effeminate face because deep down on lonely nights he wished to be a girl. However, he had never been girlish aside from his looks but his appearance also became more masculine so he had to accept that he was a boy no matter what and it was fine.

When he'd first realized that he was in love he'd wanted to act upon his feelings but had been crestfallen when he'd learned that Yabu is 100% straight. Inoo himself had never really thought about his sexual preferences because his mind had always been occupied with thoughts of Yabu if it came to anything sexual. He had tried to rid himself of such naughty thoughts during work but at night he had used to usually gave into his urges. But those days have already been behind him. His feelings towards Yabu softened into platonic ones. He didn't really know if he was gay or not but he didn't really care either.

If he wanted to be honest with himself as he had lost hope of getting together with Yabu he had fallen out of love more and more but the sensation remained since it had accompanied him for so long. So he wasn't infatuated but it was still a soft spot for him.

After he had dashed off from the ramen shop he got in the car and was currently sitting in it few streets away from where he had left Yabu and Hikaru. Shame or not he was weeping but even he didn't know what was the reason...


	2. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's unbetaed so please excuse us for any errors.

When Hikaru got home he decided to shower before sleeping. The way home he had thought about the situation with Inoo but he was still clueless about how he felt. He decided not to dwell too much on it and he entered the bathroom. He had a rough and long day with the photoshoot and all so a shower didn't sound half-bad after all.

He stepped into the shower and he started humming one of JUMP's songs. As it was a fairly warm night he used lukewarm, almost cool water. Feeling the little droplets of water running down his body he started to feel more relaxed and he carefully washed his hair and scrubbed his body. He wasn't a hair-freak like Takaki but he liked putting on conditioner. It simply made him all fuzzy when he massaged his scalp while the conditioner did its wonders on his hair.

As he washed his chest his hands wandered lower and lower until they reached his already half-erect penis. Hikaru was in the mood for a little stress-relief so he put his hand on his member. A moan escaped his lips but he ignored it as he started to pump his member slowly. He didn't even remember when was the last time he'd relieved himself but he felt it must have been an eternity ago. His member was almost aching with need and he had to steady himself on the shower's wall as the increasing pace of his hand's movement brought him more pleasure with every stroke. He bit his lower lip but he couldn't surpress his moans. He was moaning shamelessly and his voice echoed in the small bathroom which weirdly made him more aroused as it sounded like it was another man's voice.

When this thought sank in in Hikaru's mind he immediately stopped his actions. Since when had he been attracted to men? He was so shocked by this that his mood was completely ruined. He stood in the shower leaning to the wall with a shell-shocked expression on his face while the water was hitting him harsher with every passing second. He felt that the droplets were almost attacking his sensitive body and it wasn't a nice feeling.

He quiclky washed all the soap and conditioner off and stopped the water. He was thinking about this strange pleasure that buzzed over his body when he had believed for a second that the echo in the room had been another man's voice. He had never questioned his sexuality before because frankly all sexual relations he had had had been casual and emotionless and with women. That aside he usually got off with porn or with the help of his own fantazy.

He dried his body with a fluffy towel and stepped in front of the sink to brush his teeth. His thoughts were still going crazily around his head. He had been in Johnny's for more than a decade and that came with being sorrounded with ikemen almost all the time so naturally he was used to the sensation of finding other men attractive. However, this was an enterely different case. For the first time in his life he considered that having sexual relation with a man would give him pleasure. It was crazy.

As he brushed his teeth he entertained his newly found self-proclaimed crazy self by imagining who would be his type from JUMP. Suddenly Inoo's face popped into his mind from earlier. That hurt expression with those sad eyes that radiated something strange. He felt a dim pang in his chest. Those eyes, Hikaru realized, had been a part of Inoo Kei which Hikaru had never seen before. It seemed lik it had came from the man's most inner part and for being able to see it Hikaru felt strangely happy. But apart from that he felt sorry for Inoo and he still didn't know what was reason of the mushroom haired man's discomfort.

He looked up and made eye-contact with his own reflection and he discovered that his face looked foreign to his own eyes. He had never seen this expression before. He tried to shrug it off and decided to avert his attention back to the topic of Inoo. He couldn't for the love of God tell why was his heart feeling funny every time he thought about what had happened in the shop and what was that kyun he had felt back then.

He felt so confused and helpless so after drying his hair he decided on calling Keito despite the late hour. His fellow member and friend was much more experienced with the ways of the heart for God knows what reason. Also, Keito was kind and gentle so Hikaru was sure he wouldn't be disgusted with him. Fortunately, Keito picked up his phone.

'Moshi-moshi, Hikaru-kun' a sleepy-sounding Keito said 'Is there something wrong?' he asked.  
'Sorry for waking you up, Keito' Hikaru said feeling bad for interrupting the younger's sleep. 'Nothing's wrong, I just need advice'  
'Advice from me?' Keito sounded more awake suddenly. 'What kind of advice Hikaru-kun needs from me?'

Hikaru then explained the whole situation leaving out HOW he realized that he might be gay but telling everything about what happened in the ramen shop. Keito was listening patiently on the other side of the line and after Hikaru stopped he was silent for few seconds before stating something that sounded ridiculous to Hikaru's ears.

'I think Hikaru-kun might be falling in love with Inoo-chan'

'That's ridiculous, Keito' the older one voiced out his thoughts. 'Nevermind, sorry for asking and thank you for listening to me' he said. 'I guess you wouldn't tell anybody about this anyway so sorry for bothering you, goodnight' Hikaru said hurriedly and hung up before Keito had the chance to reply.  
But he was thinking about those words for long after the call ended and he fell asleep imagining a certain mushroom haired somebody.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Yamada had a bad night. He couldn't sleep well because it was so damn hot. He was tossing and turning every minute and after 5 hours of half-sleeping he decided to start the day.

He showered with cool water which was frankly wonderful against his heated skin and he prepared a nice breakfast to start the day off with something pleasant. He still had 2 hours to pick up Yuto but he was bored so he left his apartment and drove to Yuto's place. He rang the bell and waited for Yuto to open the door with a happy expression.

However, his happiness was short-lived because when Yuto opened the door Yamada immediately saw how pale the taller one was.

'Yuti, what's wrong?' Yamada asked worriedly. 'Are you sick or...' He didn't get to finish his sentence as Yuto lost conciousness.

The blond guy was quick to catch Yuto before he hurt himself while falling. Yamada adjusted his hold on Yuto and carried him to his bed princess style after kicking the door shut. While carrying the younger one he felt that Yuto was burning hot. When Yamada placed the taller guy on the sheets he looked at his friend's always bubbly and energetic face and what he saw almost broke his heart.

Discomfort and pain was showing on Yuto's face. Yamada had never seen him like this before. To tell the truth he was so worried about Yuto he might have been puking all over the carpet if he didn't have the only rational thought that cleaning vomit up would be terribly inconvinient that moment. He quickly shrugged the shock off and dashed off to the bathroom to soak a towel with cold water to put it on Yuto's forehead thus cooling him a bit. When he put the towel on the taller guy's forehead Yuto leaned into his touch seeking the cooling feeling.

Yamada sat down next to Yuto and fished out his phone from his bag to search the internet for tips on how to deal with your sick friend. He decided to cook porridge but he didn't want to leave Yuto's side. The younger one certaily had some bad dreams. He was groaning softly wrinkles appeared on his forehead, at least on the area which Yamada could see from the towel.

'STAND BY... FIRE!!!' Yuto suddenly sat up and shouted. Yamada was so startled he let out a small shriek.

Yuto fell into the bed and continued his slumber a bit more peacefully after that. If Yamada wasn't worried sick he would have found this whole scenario funny but sleeptalking rubbish was definitely not a normal thing so he wasn't really in the mood to laugh. The older one quickly went to the bathroom to change the damp towel. When he reappeared in the bedroom Yuto seemed to mumble something but this time it sounded almost tormented.

'Who I love is only my business'

Yamada felt something was different about how he saw Yuto after the latter uttered those words. Yuto looked so vulnerable and cute that Yamada caught himself rubbing his chest to make the bittersweet pang go away. Then when he realized what he was doing his hand slowly sneaked up to his mouth and a shocked expression appeared on his face. It was almost like he felt romantic attr...

'No way, that's happening' Yamada quickly tried to reassure himself not allowing the disturbing thought to linger in his mind longer than necessary.

'Yama-chan...' Yamada was waken from his musing by a sleepy looking Yuto. 'I'm sorry but I think I'm sick...'  
'I can see that very well, baka' Yamada said with a soft smile.

Yuto smiled back and fortunately he looked better. He carefully sat up.

'I wanted to cook some porridge but I didn't want to leave you in case something happens' Yamada said while making his hands busy by folding the towel that fell when Yuto sat up.  
'Yama-chan acts like a worried girlfriend' Yuto said with a mischevious grin.

In that moment Yamada's face became red like his favourite fruit because he immediately associated this sentence with his previous train of thought. He suddenly jumped off the bed and tried to hide his red face while packing his things and mumbling:  
'I-I see you are f-feeling better now, Y-Yuti, I think I should let you rest...'

And with that he quickly dashed off.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated :)


End file.
